Guff #9: Monster Holiday
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From the Editor
Guff 9
The holidays are upon us. From here at the Macguffin HQ, where we’ve been listening to Christmas music since the day after Halloween, we present GUFF 9, which marks the final dispatch for 2024, and it’s a monster issue.
First up, in Concept of the Week, we have “There’s a Monster Under the Bed of the Monster Under My Bed,” which is pretty self-explanatory, and could also be titled “Monsters All the Way Down”, which is somewhat less self-explanatory, but much easier to fit in the meta data containers. Long-time fans of Macguffin Cartoonist-in-Residence Artie Trope may recall his Inscrutables #396 panel, “Turtles All the Way Up”, which was one of the inspirations for this children’s story. “Turtles All the Way Up” was voted most the most inscrutable comic in Artie’s canon, required a long-winded explanation for the focus groups to get it, and then ranked in the bottom 10% as scored by the same focus group respondents judging for “humor”. Personally, I though they were being little harsh. But it did lead to this lovable children’s concept that now ranks in the top 10%, so you never know where the creative process leads.
“Turtles All the Way Up” by Arthur Trope
Speaking of being a little harsh, we took the team to see Red One the other day, and I think it deserves higher marks than its getting on Rotten Tomatoes. 7.5 from me, bordering on 8. I learned a few things, including the existence of some Christmas monsters from other parts of the world, which weren’t particularly well-explained in the movie, and sent me Googling for their backstories. Hence, if you make it to the end of GUFF 9, you’ll be rewarded with a feature on 10 of the more interesting Christmas monsters I came across while sitting in the little lounge at my dentist waiting for my mouth guard to be cleaned last week.
Finally, we have some priority open roles for the upcoming NEANDERTHAL CODEX project. Scroll down to the Job Board for links. We’re looking for writers with a particular interest in time-traveling and experience with the inner working of Papal Synods. If you know any who fits the bill, please send them our way.
Happy Holidays… -Ed
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Concept of the Week
““When a sleepless young boy discovers a monster under his bed, he finds the monster is terrified of a monster under its own bed, which leads to the discovery of a chain of ever smaller monsters lurking under ever-smaller beds.””
JP Roberts and Nicole Mazza
Getting the greenlight this week is “There’s a Monster Under the Bed of the Monster Under My Bed,” and we’re thrilled to announce that illustrator John Roberts has joined the creative team. John, known as JP, has always loved reading and found his passion for creating at a very early age. Some of his earliest childhood influences were Arnold Lobel, Quentin Blake, Garth Williams, and Beatrix Potter. His love of pencil, ink, and watercolors comes from their amazing illustrations. JP is a primarily self taught artist, but attended the Savannah College of Art & Design for computer art and animation. Although he enjoys working in traditional styles, JP mainly works digitally, in Procreate and Photoshop. Throughout his career, he has illustrated projects for a wide variety of clients including Cricket Media, Friesen Press Publishers, and numerous advertising agencies. Through these ad agencies, JP won a number of Addy awards for his illustration, animation, and design work.
John will be collaborating with lead writer Nicole Mazza to bring this idea into the world. Nicole is a video game writer with 10+ years experience. With credits in multiple high-profile titles, she has lent her words to characters from beloved franchises like Star Wars and Animal Crossing. She spends her time outside of work performing stand-up comedy across the country, so she's always sure to bring a sense of humor with her wherever she goes. Nicole, who is also contributing to the Peanut Zapata creative development team, has subjected herself to this week’s Macguffin Interrogative, so you can get to know all about her here.
Team page launching soon, where you can follow the creative process to see how it evolves.
Monster doodles by John Roberts
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Press Room
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Featured Submission:
“Chicken on the Run”
Chicken on the Run
“A hapless chicken with big dreams and crippling gambling debts is forced by gangsters to steal eggs, but when he’s double crossed and left holding the bag, he must re-cross the road to redeem himself and his family’s name.”
SYNOPSIS:
Nestor is a supervisor at the henhouse. It’s his job to keep track of egg inventory, productivity quotas, etc. Just your classic clipboard-toting middle manager. Who still lives with his mother, by the way, who is also an egg-layer at the henhouse. But Nestor also has big dreams. He secretly thinks eggs are on the way out; ground flaxseed egg substitutes are the future. He wants to operate his own flax farm, but his attempts to convince the rich and powerful to invest in his operation haven’t gone well.
So he turns to gambling at The Den, a casino populated by foxes and wolves, to try to raise cash fast. While there, he befriends (and falls in love with) the roulette table operator — an alluring duck named Ana. Nestor gets hot at Ana’s roulette table — he has enough money! He should walk away! — but he can’t stop. He bets it all…and loses it all. He asks for credit from the house to try to win it back. He keeps gambling. He loses that, too. He is waaaaay in the hole. And Mr. Carmine, the fox proprietor of The Den, is not pleased. How can Nestor pay off his debts? Is Mr. Carmine interested in the unlimited commercial potential of flax? He is not. No, Mr. Carmine has an idea for how Nestor can pay back what he owes: The Den has been looking to get into the egg business for quite some time. Perhaps if Nestor can help provide The Den with a few eggs from the henhouse…All Nestor has to do is leave a door unlocked after hours. Mr. Carmine’s henchmen will take care of the rest. At first, Nestor says no; that would be a gross violation of company policy. And what would his mother say? Maybe there’s some other way to repay the debts? Mr. Carmine calmly explains that it’s either this, or Nestor’s mother might find herself turned into a new pillow.Gulp. Nestor reluctantly agrees. At first, he helps the foxes smuggle eggs out of the henhouse (and falsifies the accounts so there’s no record of the eggs ever existing). But after the police catch on and begin heavily patrolling The Road (like a DMZ between the chickens and their predators) for any suspicious foxes, Mr. Carmine tells Nestor there’s been a change of plans: Nestor himself will have to start stealing the eggs from the henhouse and transporting them across The Road. Nestor complies; the excuses he gives to the chicken sentry at The Road for why he’s crossing late at night are simple at first (“To get to the other side”) but eventually get more elaborate (“I’m a uh, pastor at an interspecies church: Our Lady of the Biosphere. Tonight I’m giving the, ahem, Eggs Benediction.”)
Nestor starts to feel incredibly guilty about all this. By his tally, he has paid back his debt. He tells Mr. Carmine so. Nope, says Mr. Carmine. He needs Nestor to keep stealing the eggs. Or else…
Meanwhile, the two detectives investigating the case come to the inaccurate conclusion — through a series of misunderstandings — that Nestor’s mother is the culprit. They arrest her. That’s the final straw. Nestor tries to tell the police that he did it, but they dismiss it as a son trying to protect his mother. Ana tells Nestor they should escape. Start a new life somewhere. Nestor’s mom will eventually be cleared of wrongdoing. They should use this time to break free. But Nestor can’t do that. He knows what he must do: break into the vault at The Den where the eggs are being kept and steal them back and bring them to the detectives. Even if he is arrested for stealing the eggs, he knows it’s the only way to clear his mother’s name.
He asks for help from Ana. A heist ensues, where Ana helps Nestor get access to the heavily guarded egg vault, they use Nestor’s flaxseed egg substitutes to trick the foxes, and they smuggle out the eggs just as the foxes catch on. Cue a fun chase toward The Road. Once at The Road, Ana gets the eggs safely across, but Nestor is nabbed at the last minute by Mr. Carmine and the foxes. They are about to eat him when a crew of eagles swoop in and carry away the foxes to certain doom?
The wronged hens launch a counterattack? I’m not sure. Something! Either way, Nestor’s mom is cleared of wrongdoing, the eggs are returned safely, and, yes, Nestor goes to jail. BUT while he’s in there, he receives good news during a visit from Ana: the flaxseed egg substitutes he used to sneak the real eggs out have been catching on. She has investors lined up to help Nestor launch his flax farm once he’s released in six months. Ana tells Nestor she’ll be waiting for him…on the other side. -JW
Jamison Webb
Jamison Webb is an alum of The Second City in Chicago, where he performed in two Mainstage revues. He likes baseball, old movies, and the music of The Walkmen.
This idea tested surprisingly well in the focus groups. So we’re kicking around this treatment for an animated/claymation comedy caper short that’s part Sting II and part Italian Job, and maybe part toned-down Kill Bill, with the chicken, Nestor Down, being the hapless mark who returns from prison with a cold-blooded vengeance to track down the con men (a skulk of red foxes) who duped him, and lure them into an elaborate con of his own, with the payoff being a 12-minute, digression-filled backstory for why exactly the chicken crossed the road. Jamison Webb has signed on as lead writer, and is already hard at work cooking up chicken and egg puns, the so feel free to vote below, but I think this one is leaving the coop… -Ed.
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Job Board
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In the Offing
Offering Terms:
Minimum Investment: $10.00 /
Security Type: Revenue Share /
Raise: $20,000 - $50,000 /
Planned Launch: Feb 2024 /
Offering Terms: Minimum Investment: $10.00 / Security Type: Revenue Share / Raise: $20,000 - $50,000 / Planned Launch: Feb 2024 /
In Offering news, the votes are in, the focus groups have spoken, and we’ve moved Chicken, Pickle, Duck & Bob from concept to pilot stage. Without the narwhal. Or the polar bear. But this means we’re now “Testing the Waters” for for an official Offering of revenue shares to investors. You can RSVP for the anticipated offering now on the franchise pilot page. -Ed.
Testing the Waters: No money or other consideration is being solicited, and if sent in response, will not be accepted. No offer to buy securities can be accepted and no part of the purchase price can be received until an offering statement is filed and only through an intermediary's platform. A person’s indication of interest involves no obligation or commitment of any kind.
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Concepts in Development
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Character Review: Christmas Characters
Happy Holidays
As promised, a non-exhaustive list of weird and maybe not-so-weird Christmas characters from around the world. Send me a note if you know of others, I’m collecting.
1. Krampus (Austria and Germany)
Krampus, I’d heard of. He’s a horned, demon-like figure who serves as a counterbalance to St. Nicholas. He too knows when you’ve been naughty or nice. While Santa rewards good children with gifts, Krampus punishes the naughty ones by scaring them or, in some cases, even dragging them off to his lair. The sight of this terrifying creature, complete with fangs and chains, is enough to make any Austrian or German child think twice about misbehaving during the holiday season.
2. La Befana (Italy)
In Italy, the Christmas season extends well beyond December 25th, culminating in the celebration of Epiphany on January 6th. Enter La Befana, a kindly old witch who flies on a broomstick. Legend has it that she was too busy to join the Three Wise Men on their journey to see the baby Jesus. Ever since, she visits children on the night of January 5th, delivering gifts and sweets to those who have been good and coal to those who haven’t.
3. Yule Lads (Iceland)
In Iceland, the Yule Lads are a group of 13 mischievous trolls who descend from the mountains during the 13 days leading up to Christmas. Each lad has a unique name and a specific prank they play on unsuspecting families. For example, there's "Spoon-Licker," who steals spoons, and "Door-Slammer," who, as his name suggests, slams doors in the night. Children place their shoes by the window, and if they’ve been good, they’ll receive small gifts from the Yule Lads. If not, they might just find a rotten potato instead.
4. Ded Moroz (Russia)
In Russia, the holiday season is graced by Ded Moroz, or Grandpa Frost, who delivers gifts on New Year’s Eve rather than Christmas. Accompanied by his granddaughter Snegurochka (the Snow Maiden), Ded Moroz is a jolly figure with a long white beard and a blue or red robe. He rides a troika (a traditional Russian sleigh) pulled by three horses and spreads holiday cheer. This character represents a blend of ancient Slavic traditions and modern Christmas customs, creating a unique winter celebration.
5. Tió de Nadal (Catalonia, Spain)
In the Catalonian region of Spain, families celebrate Christmas with an unusual character known as Tió de Nadal, or the "Christmas Log." This hollow log is propped up on two legs and given a painted face. In the weeks leading up to Christmas, families feed the log and keep it warm with a blanket. On Christmas Eve, children gather around the log and hit it with sticks while singing traditional songs. Once they’ve given it a good beating, they uncover the log to find it filled with gifts and treats. It’s a bizarre but delightful way to celebrate.
6. Frau Perchta (Austria/Germany)
Part animal, part human, carries a long knife around the in the mountains, mostly. She breaks into homes, leaves gifts for well-behaved children. The others get the knife. You’ll have to look the rest up yourself.
7. Kallikantzaroi (Greece)
In Greek folklore, Kallikantzaroi are goblin-like creatures that come out during the twelve days of Christmas to cause mischief. These mischievous beings attempt to destroy the world tree, a symbol of life, but are thwarted by the arrival of Christmas Day. On this day, they are said to retreat back to their underground homes. To ward off these mischievous spirits, many Greek families keep their homes decorated and light candles to keep the Kallikantzaroi at bay. Video and sing-along below.
8. Snegurochka (Russia)
Snegurochka, or the Snow Maiden, is the granddaughter of Ded Moroz and plays a significant role in Russian Christmas celebrations. She is often depicted as a beautiful young girl made of snow, and her presence symbolizes winter’s magic and beauty. Snegurochka helps Ded Moroz deliver gifts and brings joy to children during the holiday season. The character is deeply rooted in Russian folklore and is celebrated in various forms of art and literature, making her a beloved figure of the season.
9. Odin (Scandinavia)
Before Santa Claus became the jolly gift-giver we know today, Norse mythology introduced us to Odin, the Allfather. During the Yule season, Odin would ride through the night sky on his eight-legged horse, Sleipnir, bringing gifts to children. Families would leave out treats for Odin and his horse, hoping for blessings and good fortune in the coming year. While Odin may not be directly associated with Christmas today, his influence can still be felt in the traditions surrounding the holiday.
10. Caga Tió (Catalonia, Spain)
Another quirky character from Catalonia is Caga Tió, or the "Pooping Log." Similar to Tió de Nadal, this log is treated like a member of the family during the holiday season. Families decorate it with a painted face and a red hat, and on Christmas Eve, they hit it with sticks while singing festive songs. After the beating, the log is "made to poop" gifts and sweets, creating a hilarious and memorable holiday tradition.
That’s a wrap. Happy Holidays! -Ed.
A troop of monkeys recreates the Complete Works of Shakespeare, but can they tackle the Best of Simon & Garfunkel before creative differences tear them apart?